I cannot believe you have been out as long as you were in. It is mind-blowing.

I just about feel like a mother, now. Or maybe I feel more a mother than anything else.

Sometimes, I doubt the old 'me' will ever come back. Like I said before, the breaking and the making. Perhaps birth and rebirth are synonymous.

You, you, you. Our whole world is you. A snippet at 9 months:

You can now say Dada and Mama.

You can pull yourself up to stand, sit, crawl, wave and clap.

You have 6 teeth.

Your favourite song is Row, Row, Row the Boat (now) and I Can Sing a Rainbow (historically).

You have green eyes and your once dark brown hair is getting blonder with every passing day.

You haven't been a great sleeper.

You love food.

You've resisted my attempts at any kind of routine, so we settle for a rhythm.

We've ridden through phase after phase.


Separation anxiety.

Dream feeds.

Wake windows.

Nap schedules.



Bouncy chair.



Moses basket.


I'm trying my best to grow with you.

But must you grow so fast?

I love and worship you fiercely.

My firstborn,
my littlest love,
my life.